Just a little humor, ok?

Thanks to Dianne for this comparisons between 
Christmas and Hannukha:

Jews love Dec. 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go
to movies and out for Chinese food, and Israeli dancing.
Chanukah is eight days.
It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that
falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non
Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to
consult a calendar, so we don't look like idiots. We all
have the same calendar, provided free with a donation
from either the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher,
or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida).

* Christmas is a major holiday, a Statutory (paid) holiday,
* Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most
Jewish holidays: They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat!!!

* Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume,
stereos...
* Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, 
Viagra, or a the collected works of the Rambam which looks 
impressive on the bookshelf.

* There is only one way to spell Christmas.
* No one can decide how to spell Chanuka, Chanukah, Chanukka,
Channukah,Hanukah, Hannuka, whatever.

* Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and
boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts.
* Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a
diamond ring on Chanukah, not even a fake one.

* Christmas brings enormous electric bills.

* Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared 
enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about 
not contributing to the energy crisis.

* Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come o Ye Faithful.....

* Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or 
about having a party and dancing the Hora. Of course, we 
are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were 
composed and written by Jews. And don't Barbara Streisand 
and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully? And made tons 
of money singing them?

* A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet
smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered
around in festive moods.
* A home preparing for Cha nukah smells of oil, potatoes and
garlic and onions. The home, is always full of loud people 
all talking at once about nothing anybody is interested in.

* Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies.

* Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating
potatoes and onions for latkes on Chanukah. Another
reminder of our suffering through the ages.

* Parents deliver gifts to their children during Christmas.

* Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift
any of the eight nights of Chanukah.

* The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce
names such as Mary, Joseph and Jesus.

* The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah,
Maccabee, and Matta-whatever. No one can spell it or
pronounce it the same twice in a row. On the plus side, we
can tell our friends any BS, and they believe we are
wonderfully versed in our history.

* In recent years, Christmas has become more and more
commercialized.

* The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a
minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major
holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating.
Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for...
27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your
chest, confess your sins, make everybody else feel guiltier
than you, a guaranteed good time for you and your family.
Tickets a mere $200 per person.

* Christians greet each other with "Merry Christmas" and a 
smile.

* Jews greet Christians with "Merry Christmas" and a 
smile, so that they won't be asked when Hanukhah is, or 
how it is spelled. 

Jews greet other Jews with "Nu?"and hurry on before the 
other can start complaining.