Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Simi Valley. Let's have coffee!!



She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft
background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar
of caviar, and a bottle of beer.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room
and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar
into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband
returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the
place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets
were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.  Exterminators were
brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to
move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit.
 Repairmen refused to work in the house.
 The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,
they could  not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused
to return  their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the
bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely
and said that she missed her old  home terribly and would be
willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting
the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he
agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house
had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that
very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the
paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their
new home.

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!

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